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"They're so damn cute. Like Bambi on ice." -- Crackerjack, (The Dolls: Athletes First, by Jason Joyce, Isthmus, July 28, 2006) "Oh yeah? Just you wait till you see 'em in November." -- Mauly Tov, Baby Doll The Mad Rollin ' Dolls ' offered a sneak-preview of their third season of flat-track roller derby on Saturday, Nov. 11, with a groaning board feast of bumps, grunts and thumps in celebration of "Thumpsgiving." This unofficial "friends and family" event was fast-paced and hard-hitting -- just a hint of the excitement to come when the official season starts in January. It may have been Veteran 's Day, but this bout was all about the rookie recruits. The league 's new skaters got a chance to show the fans how fast and tough they are, and how they 'll fare against the Derby-hardened vets. The first surprise of the night came when the sound system failed during the National Anthem. But the multi-talented roller girls laughed it off and finished the tune a capella -- and almost on key. The event was split into four 15-minute match-ups, determined just moments before the skaters hit the track. In game one, the Reservoir Dolls ' shot it out with the revitalized Unholy Rollers. Seven of ten Unholy Ones on the track were rookies, so the ladies in red had their work cut out for them. Mouse (eight points) and Tatum Tantrum (13 points) put the most numbers on the board for the Res Dolls, while rookie Felony Griffith proved that she felt right at home in the outlaw gang, taking lead jammer status on her first jam. Veteran Jewels of DeNile led the way with 10 points for the Unholies with the help of fresh blockers Shrimp Trampi and Tammy Faye Undertakker. The fearsome ones showed no fear when facing the former champs, but were unable to seize much Gangster Gal turf. In the end, the Res Dolls sealed the casket with a 32-15 victory. In game two, the Vaudeville Vixens challenged the Reservoir Dolls. The Vixens were packing some new heat, including jammer Harlot Bronte. This fearless rookie muscled her way through the pack, scoring three points as a jammer and blocking well in the pack. Felony Griffith heisted eight points for the RD 's in her second jam of the night, displaying again why she 's one to keep an eye on. Meanwhile, vivacious new Vixen OctoPushy showed everyone her versatility with some nice jamming as well as a couple of minor penalties. But the Res Dolls, led by Mouse who jammed her way to a 14-point total, stayed as solid as ever, keeping the Vixens ' jammers behind brutal human walls and winning match two 34-13. In the third game, a raucous crowd welcomed last season 's champion Quad Squad to face the fourth-place Unholy Rollers. Even with all that green and red flying around the track, the mood was anything but festive. After having lost the night 's first contest, the Goth Girls flew back thirsty for blood. The Unholies ' Wildberry Punch and Back Doris put the scare on, and Maverick was hungry for action after taking last season off. Thunder Kitten, Stitch and new Quad skater Sassafrass kept the Green in the game. The game closed with Maverick 's nine-point jam, followed by Jewels ' lucky thirteen-point jam. Without getting lead for a single jam, the Unholy Rollers showed the importance of a strong defense and sent the Squad packing, 39-34. In the final face-off, the Vaudeville Vixens danced back on the track to take on an angry Quad Squad in the most heated match of the evening. As scrappy and eager as the new girls were, it was the veteran players from both teams who kept the referees busy and the penalty boxes full. The Vixens ' Mustang lived up to her name with a speedy eight-point jam. Dolly Pardon Me kept the Vixens in the mix scoring 16 points in back-to-back jams. The greenest of the Green Team, jammer Lauren Order, gave Quad fans yet another reason to get excited about next year 's run at the trophy. New Vixen Stevie Knocks knows her way around the track, and looks like a major threat in the coming season. Joan of Anarchy tried jamming for her first time, earning 7 points, and Thunder Kitten hit the boards for the first time in a year with an eight-point jam. The Quad Squad got mad, but never got even. Final score: Vaudeville Vixens 31, Quad Squad 28. The Dolls shunned publicity for this unofficial season opener, so the crowd was smaller than usual. But it was a sophisticated crowd of knowledgeable "friends and family" who showed their enthusiasm and appreciation for the outstanding play on the oval. As the flat-track derby family gets bigger and makes more friends, the rink-side seats are sure to go almost as fast as the girls on the track. Tickets for the Holiday Expo Bout Dec. 9 will be on sale soon; get ready for more thrills and spills, and more than a few surprises!
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