August 15, 2007

By Geoffrey Saucer

Four days away from home and routine to watch . . . roller derby. This was going to be maybe the strangest, some might say the dumbest, vacation I've ever planned. For the derby-deficient, there's no explaining why anyone would do this. But the girls understand, and have come from twelve cities to skate against one another. Fans understand that you come for the competition, but it's the passions that underlie the sport that bring you back again and again. It's the chase of the ultimate sugar rush. More candy, please. This wasn't going to be just an evening of derby, but three full freaking days and nights of derby.

Following Madison's travel team, the Dairyland Dolls, Gigi String and I checked into our hotel and immediately ran into the entire DD team in the lobby. All 22 of us rode the elevator to the fifth floor. You've never heard the Dairyland Doll cheer until you've heard twenty hyper women doing it in an elevator car. The Dolls were loose and in great spirits. The weekend had begun.

The tournament was in Batelle Hall, a big, echo-y, brutalist arena that is part of the sprawling Columbus Convention Center. The hall provided ample space for the sport court track, benches, and bout production, with plenty of floor and bleacher seating. The first day's competition featured Chicago's Windy City Rollergirls getting by Atlanta 106-77, setting up a 1 p.m. bout between Madison and Windy City the next afternoon. New York's Gotham RGs mangled Grand Rapids 206-47, and Columbus~s own Ohio Rollergirls put up a stiff challenge to Providence, only to come up short 126-99 in front of their hometown fans.

The highlight bout of the day, however, was the afternoon pairing of Detroit and Boston. Both teams skated a competitive bout throughout, with Boston keeping the edge on points as the end approached. Boston pulled ahead by 9 with 5:50 to go. But the bane of inter-league play, minor penalties on the jammer, put Detroit in a great position to capture the lead, and they did just that, going ahead 95-93. With less than a minute left, Detroit jammer Racer McChaseHer was called for a major, and Boston~s jammer skated all out with a dramatic win in sight. She was able to capture two points as the clock hit zero. In overtime, Racer McChaseHer came out of the penalty box to break through the pack first, while Boston looked exhausted. Detroit skated away to a rousing 103-99 win that hit an early high note for the weekend.

Madison came to the tournament as the top-seed and with a bye from the first day of competition. One of the senior leagues in women's flat track derby, Madison fielded a veteran squad of skaters with previous tournament and inter-league success. Before the start of June's bout against Austin's league team the Hotrod Honeys, team captain Crackerjack had shouted, 'Let's win this thing!' She wasn't referring to just that night's competition, but to the whole enchilada - on to Nationals. Even after a July loss to Tuscon's travel squad the Saddletramps, the team knew themselves to be among the best.

On day two of the tournament, during an outdoor breakfast meeting at the nearby North Market, Crackerjack made a point of not looking beyond that afternoon's bout, and ran through the game plan. The Dolls were loose and focused, but eager for their first chance to skate.

At Batelle Hall, despite the drama of the Boston-Detroit game and overall excellent play of the day before, there was sense that the real competition was about to begin. Madison, Minnesota and Carolina were all well known squads and all considered favorites. During pre-bout warm-ups, both the Dairyland Dolls and Windy City girls looked strong. Windy City had suffered a humiliating loss to Madison at the 2006 Dust Devil, and had their sights set on payback as well as an upset of the top seed. The Dolls were champing at the bit to get on the track and show everyone who's Bossie.

The bout started with the Dolls in top form. Darling Nikki, Mouse and Jenny Knoxville all put together scoring jams while the defense was solid. After three jams, the score was 19-7 Madison. Three jams later, the Dolls were up 31-16, and all seemed to be going according to plan. For the final four jams of the period, however, Madison jammers went to the penalty box twice, while Windy City put together solid offense and defense. At the end of the first period, the score was 32-31, the Dolls holding a slim lead.

The second period couldn't have gone worse for the Dolls. Chicago grabbed all but one lead jam, and almost always settled for four points instead of looking for more. Chicago's defense seemed almost impenetrable. The back blockers ran interference with the pack, while two blockers up front kept a tight formation to deny the jammer pass. The Dolls also had their share of penalties, and skated much of the period short-handed. Halfway through the period, without a point in the period and the drought in the first period still fresh, it was clear that something was amiss for the Dolls. Confidence turned to apprehension. The Dolls only managed seven points in the half, while Chicago put up 38. The score after two periods was 63-39, Windy City.

The Dolls fell behind by 32 early in the third period, but came back with a grand slam by Jewels of DeNile and four for Jenny Knoxville. The Dolls had hit their stride only momentarily, however, as both teams started to take penalties, while Chicago got back on their game. After another stretch without a score, Jenny Knoxville scored seven and Mouse four late in the period. At the end, it was a solid 94-63 win for the unheralded Windy City team, and a disappointing loss for the Dolls.

For a fan, the loss hurt, but it was much tougher on the girls who had just skated. They had come to skate, and now that was over. Gone too was the dream of Austin and the Nationals, something they had seen as a certainty. I had watched these women over the course of two years, and knew the confidence and joy they bring to one another. Now I watched tearful embraces and contemplative stares. Jenny Knoxville, still looking mean and defiant, was quiet. Everyone would have to deal with the loss in her own way.

The tournament continued. In another emotional win, Detroit upset second-seeded Minnesota 99-77 behind solid jamming. Minnesota skates a similar game to Madison, and at times they struggled with offense while their jammer sat in the penalty box. Gotham, a number five seed to Philadelphia's four, proved a machine with another lopsided win, 139-81. Carolina bucked the trend of top seeds losing with a 98-55 win against a solid Providence team. The tenor for the day was not just one of upsets but of quality play, even for teams on the losing end.

No recount of day two would be complete without mentioning DJ Moxy. Her tunes Echoed throughout Batelle Hall all tournament long, and kept everyone loose. When Philadelphia took a timeout, the Gotham girls on the track showed they could do more than skate by dancing to the Violent Femmes' 'Blister in the Sun.' During the final bout of the day, with only two teams skating, the rest of the skaters started a dance party in the bleachers that they would later move downtown.

Sunday's day-three action started at 11:00, an early hour for many who had been out late the night before, but not for Carolina and Windy City, who would skate first. Both teams had stamped their tickets to nationals the day before - now it was to test each other's game to see who was the better squad. The first period was fairly even, ending with Windy City in the lead 30-21. In the second period, Carolina began to feel Madison's pain from the day before as Windy City scored consistently while holding Carolina scoreless for a 12-minute stretch. Another 12-minute scoring drought for Carolina in the third proved that Windy City's defense was the real thing, and it was the Chicago girls who would be skating in the tournament championship with a 104-55 win.

The second semi-final paired the upstart Detroit Derby Girls against Gotham. Gotham set the tone early with an opening grand slam from Suzy Hotrod. In the first period, Gotham grabbed leader jammer eight times while Detroit managed it only three times. With this edge, Gotham led 54-12 after one period. The tenor of the game never changed after this. The Gotham offense was huge. Suzy Hotrod had seven grand slams, and Gotham put up multiple 10-point-plus jams. Detroit put up a stiff fight. Racer McChaseHer became a real standout during this bout. She consistently grabbed lead against the Gotham defense while her fellow jammers were shut down, and skated almost every other jam in the third. She was able to skate around the outside of the defense and took hits while managing to stay on track.

The Carolina-Detroit grudge match was a no sideshow, as it would determine seeding at Nationals. Both teams were tired. Carolina was skating their third bout in 18 hours, and Detroit had just suffered a bruising from Gotahm. Carolina looked the fresher team, doubling the score on Detroit 50-25 after one.

Period two was a real dogfight. Racer McChaseHer again skated almost every other jam, taking lead three times in the period, and at one point bringing Detroit back to within seven at 63-56. Carolina's star jammer Princess America proved she could take on the Detroit phenom with a 9-4 jam to finish the period for a 72-60 lead. Princess America always sported a smile during play, but she could be seen to grimace this period as the hitting and fatigue began take their toll. While Detroit put on a 15-0 run to finish the game, and Racer took lead six times in the third period, Carolina prevailed 94-84. For her tough play, endurance, and importance to her team, Racer McChaseHer was voted tournament MVP by her fellow roller girls.

Before the first whistle of the championship, the question was if Chicago's defense could hold back Gotham's offense. The largely pro-Windy City crowd got the answer quickly, as Gotham went three-for-three for grand slams and a 22-0 lead. Windy City could only hope to close the margin the rest of the way, but every shining moment for the Chicago side was quickly over shadowed by more points for Gotham.

During the second intermission, the Windy City fans broke into a trackside dance, knowing they would be runner-up but that they had gone farther than anyone had expected. Gotham proved that winning makes you loose, with jammer Cheap Skate talking to the announcers while at the line. Windy City's Megan Formor proved the opposite, getting herself ejected for insubordination and a cold shoulder from her bench coach. In the end, it was Gotham leaving no doubt about who had won the tournament with another landslide, 134-71.

For the whole tournament, Gotham skated a game I've never seen before. They combined a water-tight defense with simply blazing jamming from all their jammers. While some might have picked Suzy Hotrod as tourney MVP as leading scorer, those points were won by the team. Gotham's blocker Beyonslay 'Destiny's Problem Child' brings a new dimension to pack play as well. Gotham will proved hard to be beat at Nationals.

Some Chicago fans were hurt by the loss in the Championship, yet they ended up where no one thought they would.

While most of the audience over the weekend was composed of skaters and fans from participating leagues, there were plenty of skaters from other leagues - Indianapolis, Dayton, Pittsburgh and Fort Wayne. Half of Kansas City's travel squad was there to check out the competition. There were even some old-time derby fans in attendance. One of these fans, a middle-aged man from Memphis, when asked if had followed derby in the banked-track days, replied, 'Yeah, but this better. It's real.' While flat track derby is still seen as camp or cabaret by its deriders, there's no doubt that it is real. In the intensity of pack play, or in picking oneself up from hard hit to skate again, or in heartache or happiness, there's no doubt it's real.