pic by TIMOTHY M. HUGHES

On May 8, the crowds that formed outside the Fast Forward Skate Center knew that this was no ordinary Mad Rollin' Dolls bout. The playoffs had begun, and for the losers, there was no tomorrow...although there is a next week, since the losers will throw down for third place in the championship bout May 22. The undefeated Reservoir Dolls took to the floor to strut their stuff for the Psycho Kitties, the league's No. 4 seed. But after their victory two weeks earlier against the Unholy Rollers, the Kitties were definitely a team on the rise. In the other semifinal matchup, there was the third-seeded Quad Squad going against the number-two seed Unholy Rollers, who defeated the Quads by a mere two points in their only skate-to-skate match-up earlier in the season.

First up were the Kitties and Dolls, and as usual, the Reservoir Dolls relied on a balanced offense as Mouse, Crackerjack and Pocahotass jammed their hearts out. Mouse dominated, ratcheting up 32 points during the bout. Crackerjack and Pocahotass each scored 23 points during the bout, including a 14-point jam by `Hotass. Hell Kat hath no fury like a woman scored. She led the Kitties with 20 points, but could not match the big three of the Dolls. It's a long day when the Kat can't catch the Mouse. Dolly Pardon Me had 11 points and Frenchie added eight. Peter Pannies was in fine form, wetting the floor with three jammer takedowns, while Dolly Pardon Me busted two jammers, as did Big Diesel, in their attempt to steal the Reservoir Dolls' glory. But it was Pam Demonium who created pandemonium for the Kitties, with six, count `em SIX, jammer takedowns. Carrie A. Hacksaw also put three Kitty jammers to the floor. By halftime, the Dolls had moved out to a 45-18 lead and were talking undefeated season as Box Elder came out to play. The second half was a mere formality for the Reservoir Dolls, who wiped the floor with the Psycho Kitties, 79-36. But who was to be the Reservoir Dolls' opponent in the catfight for the season trophy? Would it be the Quad Squad, captained by the dread(lock)ed Predator? Or would it be the Unholy Rollers, also known as the Family Jewells, playing shorthanded with the absence of Pandora S. Blocks, who finds it easier to be knocked up than knocked down?

pic by TIMOTHY M. HUGHES

pic by TIMOTHY M. HUGHES

The Quad Squad jamming combo of Jenny Knoxville and Thunder Kitten, with a Stitch to hold them together, overwhelmed the Unholies to advance to the finals with a 70-41 victory. After taking a modest 10-6 lead, the Quad Squad sent Knoxville to take on Yngrid Murdersteen, and it was all Jenny, knoxing out Yngrid with an impressive 14-0 jam to give the Quads a 24-6 lead. It never got closer as Thunder Kitten scored 21 points and Knoxsville led all scorers for the day with 33 points. Stitch supplied a 16-point effort to give Jenny and Kitten a few well-deserved breathers. After a first-half knock-down, drag-out fight between the two teams, they had a tug-of-war to determine who would get penalized. Both teams stood their ground as the whistle blew, but then the Unholies let go of the rope, hoping for a reverse fall-down. But the Quad Squad was ready, perhaps planning the same thing. Yngrid led the Unholies with 16 points, and Jewells of DeNile was second with 14. Maverick scored 11 to round out the scoring for the Rollers. Cha Ching earned her keep by taking down four Quad jammers. Adreena Lynn, Mel Ignant and Jacknife each had two jammer takedowns. But it was the superb blocking of the Quad Squad that propelled them to the finals and a May 22 date with the still-undefeated Reservoir Dolls. All the action, all the grudges, all the hard-hitting, bruisey fun comes to a head on Sunday, May 22 when the Unholy Rollers attempt to roll over the Psycho Kitties and take home third place honors, while the Reservoir Dolls and the Quad Squad fight for all the marbles and the glorious Championship trophy. Don't miss your chance to see the fun. While the Mad Dolls are creating a touring team capable of putting the hurt on other leagues across the US, this is the last time Madison's hometown teams will play each other until next January. Scores: Reservoir Dolls 79, Psycho Kitties 36 Quad Squad 70, Unholy Rollers 41 Check out the rest of the action-packed photos.

HUGS AND SLUGS Referees: Martial Law, Ace "The Hurricane" Poncharello, Corporal Punishment, Pat "The Perv" McGroin Announcers: Baam Baam, Bob Noxious Disciplinarians: Zsa Zsa LaGore, King Thong Scorekeepers: Persecutor Mike, Jiver M. Timbers, Graham Slam, Pandora Statskeepers: X. Static, Big Al, Viv Sexton, Vital Stats Mascots: Quazar & Kid Lightnin', Mr. Bigg & Teddy Smalls, Dr. Rock & Nurse Hatchett, Snack Music: DJ Spookibat, Box Elder, Albert, The Bullets, Six Guns

SPECIAL THANKS TO

Cappy; PBR; security and track guys and everyone behind the scenes; Josh Meier; Hell Hound; Texas Rollergirls; masseuse Sara; all the derby widowers; our moms; and Madison - we love you.

PROCEEDS

a portion of the proceeds from this bout went to Girl Power to help raise funds for their cultural exchange trip to Jamaica.